Cunnilingus is clearly well-liked for a cause, and if in case you have a vagina, you may need a selected method you prefer it. But when there’s one factor that’s constant about intercourse, it’s that there are extra methods to get off—or get your accomplice off—than you would possibly suppose, and that is true of oral intercourse, too. New positions, including or subtracting stimulation, new strategies of communication—they’re all going to affect your expertise, and plenty of can try this for the higher.

After all, not everybody looks like giving or getting head is sweet, not to mention nice—so if it’s all the time been mid to you as a recipient, this information would possibly present you one thing you hadn’t felt earlier than. (And if you happen to’re the giver, think about these strategies a present to your accomplice.) Listed below are 5 doubtlessly new-to-you tricks to make the oral intercourse you’re having sing.

1. Discuss brazenly about what you or your accomplice would possibly need extra (or much less) of.

Hear, you’re possible bored with listening to this tip, as a result of it seems in principally each intercourse tip article you’ll ever learn. However nonetheless: Speaking about what works (and doesn’t) and what you would possibly need to attempt subsequent can actually show you how to get somebody off—or assist them get you off—while you’re having oral intercourse.

Communication outdoors the bed room can provide you each an area to debate your needs, likes, and dislikes in a lower-pressure setting. Karen Beale, PhD, a professor of psychology at Maryville School, AASECT-certified intercourse educator, and president-elect for the Society for the Scientific Research of Sexuality, says that belief is earned in on a regular basis life, not simply throughout intercourse—and that earned belief will translate into much less stress throughout susceptible moments (like getting eaten out).

For those who’re frightened about making one thing informal really feel extra weighted? Speaking it out doesn’t imply the recipient essentially expects that “the particular person offering oral intercourse will fall in love with them, goes to be their endlessly accomplice, and even somebody they may see past one evening,” Nikki Hilton, PhD, LHSP, a psychologist specializing in relationships in Knoxville, Tennessee, tells SELF. “It does imply, nonetheless, that they will belief the supplier to respect their boundaries, take heed to them, and care about their pleasure.”

Through the act itself: Dr. Beale is a big fan of determining modes of communication forward of time that don’t take you out of the warmth of the second, and that cut back the chance that you simply’ll really feel embarrassed whereas getting down and soiled. “Work out some hand gestures that imply sure issues, however are arduous to say for the time being, or would possibly break an excellent circulation. For instance, a squeeze of the hand may imply, ‘Maintain doing that factor precisely like that,’ or a faucet on the again of the hand may imply, ‘Swap to the opposite facet,’ or three faucets is, ‘Go decrease.’”

For those who’re the one giving head, it is best to talk, too! Ask your accomplice what sorts of phrases they like to make use of to seek advice from their vulva and vagina and incorporate it into your soiled speak. Since some folks really feel self-conscious when persons are spending a ton of time down there, give them reward about the way it seems to be, feels, tastes, smells, or how a lot you want doing what they’re doing. For those who’re not an enormous dirty-talker, you may present your appreciation with moans, peppered kisses, or simply persist with a basic by saying, “I really like consuming you out.”

2. Focus in all places however the clit.

Cunnilingus doesn’t need to be completely targeted on the clitoris. Dr. Beale explains, “If it’s too delicate”—or even when it’s not!—“you may keep away from it altogether and simply present oral stimulation across the vaginal opening and the inside and outer labia.” You may attempt a little bit of tongue-fucking instantly into the vagina, as nicely.