Sunday scaries are an actual factor, however anxiousness hits me particularly arduous the week earlier than Memorial Day. That’s as a result of there’s a three-day vacation on the horizon, and like most large, social occasions, I’ve zero plans. So, I scroll via outdated textual content threads, seeing if there’s someone I’d hit up. Most of the time, I don’t attain out. Maybe I don’t need to seem determined. In the event that they actually wished to see me, they’d have invited me by now, I somberly inform myself. Then, as soon as the weekend arrives, that nervous pit in my tummy turns into heavy, whole-body sluggishness after I see infinite posts of airport mimosas and household barbecues. As a single, 34-year-old lady, I by no means really feel extra alone in life than I do on a summer season vacation weekend.

I typically suppose I’m the one one who feels this manner, however this expertise is definitely frequent, Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, a Chicago-based psychologist, tells SELF: “You see folks on the seaside and going to enjoyable locations with family and friends. You would possibly suppose, ‘I am a failure. Nobody cares about me.’” (Lower to me nervously gulping on this interview.)

If you realize that Memorial Day—or the arrival of summer season normally—makes you are feeling low, specialists say that you could map out your weekend, and regulate your mindset, to really feel slightly bit higher. Listed below are some methods to do this.

Pinpoint what energizes you and incorporate it into new vacation traditions.

Though it appears counterintuitive, the summer season months can contribute to disappointment, says Dr. Lombardo. “For some folks, the warmth is an excessive amount of,” she explains. “If we felt lonely or bullied in summer season as a baby, a few of these traumas could be saved in our unconscious.”

There’s additionally cultural stress to do quintessential “summery” issues, like grilling, hanging out by the pool, or ingesting a chilly beer, Gail Saltz, MD, a psychiatrist and medical affiliate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital and Weill-Cornell Medical School, tells SELF. If I’m being 100% actual with myself, I don’t like every of these actions. (This isn’t a rustic music video—I get scorching, sweaty, and bored laying out and beer tastes rancid to me.)

Mainly, Dr. Saltz says it is best to deal with this weekend like another, however prioritize stuff that truly makes you happier. “When you spend your entire vacation weekend at house, doing little issues that make you are feeling good, that may be a profitable vacation weekend,” she says. “There’s not some rule that defines the way you spend your time nearly as good or dangerous, profitable or unsuccessful.”

She suggests writing (or simply jotting in your telephone) the final time you felt actually energized whereas alone: Have been you churning via the pages of a spicy guide, getting misplaced within the paintings at a neighborhood museum, or screaming at your TV throughout a Actual Housewives spat? If these issues brighten your day, give your self permission to take pleasure in them when you might have day without work, irrespective of how foolish, small, or unproductive they may appear, Dr. Saltz stresses. Dr. Lombardo suggests turning a few of these feel-good actions into new traditions. “You may inform your self that, each vacation weekend, you’ll get a half-hour therapeutic massage, for instance—one thing to deal with your self that you could stay up for,” she suggests.