For almost a decade, a Reformation crop high adopted me in all places. It got here alongside after I moved into my faculty dorm, then into my first post-grad condominium, and most not too long ago to New York Metropolis after I accepted my job right here at SELF. The factor is, I haven’t worn this shirt since I used to be in highschool—not as a result of I don’t need to (belief me, it’s tremendous cute)—however as a result of it merely doesn’t match my physique anymore, regardless of how onerous I attempt to squeeze myself into it.

Why, then, is that this too-tight merchandise nonetheless amassing mud in my closet? I really feel unhealthy eliminating one thing I spent $90 on, for one, but when I’m being sincere, the true cause I’ve saved the highest for thus lengthy is that I’m clinging to the hope that in the future, I’ll be capable to zip it up once more—that I’ll morph again into my thinner, “higher” former self.

And after all I’m having a tough time letting go of the will to be the smallest model of myself. Food plan tradition consistently tries to persuade us all that thinner is best—which, for the document, merely isn’t true. Wholesome and completely satisfied folks are available all completely different sizes and shapes and, pertinent to my Crop Prime of Disgrace, these sizes and shapes aren’t meant to remain the identical eternally.

“You’re going to develop and alter as you undergo life, and it’s pure to your weight to fluctuate,” Elizabeth Daniels, PhD, a psychologist specializing in physique picture and director of the Centre for Look Analysis on the College of the West of England, tells SELF. “You may shed some pounds. You may acquire weight.” In different phrases, our bodies evolve—as a result of being pregnant, PMS, or menopause, for instance, and easily as a pure a part of growing old—and there’s nothing mistaken with that. But, due to the body-standard BS we talked about above, many people “resort to punishing methods to attempt to attain that aim of wanting a sure ‘excellent’ method,” Dr. Daniels says—and punish ourselves by holding onto garments which can be too restrictive.

It might appear comparatively innocent to maintain sure gadgets “simply in case” they match once more sometime, however there are a couple of explanation why it’s actually not, in response to Dr. Daniels. First, seeing that shirt out of your faculty days, say, or a pair of denims that you could possibly (simply barely) squeeze into a few years in the past can immediately set off unfavorable self-talk about your look and price. (For instance: Ugh, I used to look so a lot better. What the hell occurred? Or, I don’t deserve new outfits till I can get again all the way down to my outdated dimension.)

Additionally, many individuals maintain onto too-small garments as a type of “motivation,” Dr. Daniels says. The standard considering behind that poisonous transfer: As soon as upon a time, you did match into that pair of pants (or gown, or no matter), so by maintaining it in your closet, you may “encourage” your self to suit into it once more—by proscribing your meals. Diets nearly all the time fail ultimately, although. And extra importantly, utilizing uncomfortably comfortable garments as a “aim” solely reinforces the damaging concept that your present physique is an issue (it’s not!) and that thinness equals happiness (it doesn’t!).