If you happen to’re like me, any form of unfavorable suggestions can actually sting and unleash a wave of disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt. Does my roommate’s grievance in regards to the trash imply she secretly hates me? My boss simply identified that I forgot to ship an necessary e mail…does she remorse hiring me?

Some criticism may be downright harsh (and fully unproductive)—however even gentler, constructive suggestions could make me panic and overthink every part. That’s as a result of “criticism can typically set off underlying unfavorable beliefs we maintain about ourselves,” Nelly Search engine optimization, PsyD, a psychologist specializing in anxiousness and trauma at Therapists of New York, tells SELF. Perhaps you possibly can’t let go of that one critique out of your efficiency evaluation as a result of deep down you’re anxious you’re not certified on your job, for instance. Or maybe you had a hyper-critical guardian who made you are feeling such as you by no means measured up, so each suggestion about your cleansing habits looks like a direct hit to your self-worth.

You may’t undergo life getting solely five-star critiques—irrespective of how good you attempt to be—so it’s necessary to learn to navigate these inevitable conditions with out letting them chip away at your vanity. The subsequent time you’re satisfied you’re a complete screwup or failure (significantly, you’re not!), give a few of these expert-approved coping methods a strive.

1. Excuse your self and attempt to discover a second alone.

Perhaps your supervisor picked aside each element of that undertaking you labored so laborious on. Otherwise you and your companion simply acquired right into a nasty argument, the place they known as out the truth that you all the time verify your cellphone on date nights.

Once you really feel your eyes watering up, your voice cracking, or your coronary heart racing in these moments, the very first thing it’s best to do, in accordance with Dr. Search engine optimization, is step away should you can—whether or not which means taking a breather outdoors or excusing your self to cover in a toilet stall.

For one, bodily strolling away from a traumatic surroundings (and the one that triggered your teary-eyed response) can assist you achieve a clearer perspective when your thoughts is clouded with anxiousness, she says. Plus, you’ll be capable of regulate your feelings in personal—with out the strain to placed on a contented face in entrance of others.

2. Do a fast physique scan to shift your consideration away out of your spiraling ideas.

When you’re accumulating your self, Dr. Search engine optimization additionally recommends doing a straightforward mindfulness train known as a physique scan. Just like the title implies, you give attention to totally different components of your physique, one after the other, beginning at your ft and making your means as much as your head, then again right down to your ft. As you’re doing this, take discover of any sensations in every space: Are your toes feeling notably chilly or heat? Is there any tingling or tightness in your legs? Stress in your chest?

Analysis has proven that this in style mindfulness approach can assist lower anxiousness. By bringing your consideration to bodily sensations, Dr. Search engine optimization explains, you interrupt any intrusive ideas. “Our our bodies are all the time within the current,” she says, “whereas our minds can journey between the previous, current, and future.”

3. Distract your self with the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding train.

One other trick to get out of your head and again into the current second is one thing known as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, Elisa Martinez, LMFT, a San Francisco–based mostly therapist who makes a speciality of anxiousness and vanity, tells SELF.